ok so i'm writing this and i'm practically crying but i dont care anymore i'm just so emotional right now
today was the last day of classes and it was simultaneously wild and super emotional at the same time, i can't even explain it but i'm going to try.
the seniors had their walk today (which is basically where all the leaving year 13s dress up and walk from the next town over to ours and end up running around the school for a couple hours all dressed up and inebriated and it's really funny) and so all through history there were drunk seniors coming into our class and yelling at us to stay in school and study and to not grow up
and anyway at some point during all this it hit me that like, this was my last history class for the year? possibly ever? and that this was the last time i'd ever have these particular classes and this particular timetable and woah it was really trippy
we (the group) talked a lot about the future today and it seems like it's only getting closer, and faster. we're going to be in year 12 next year, we've two years of school left and even though two years is a long time (we all met two years ago!!) it's also not a very long time at all! it's going to fly by without our realising and suddenly it will be our last day at school for good and we'll be parting ways and that's a reality that i don't think any of us are quite ready to face yet.
after school we were chilling at the library like we always do and i was laughing to bam about something and i looked over at delia who was also laughing at something and i was just like "wow i love delia SO MUCH" and i told her as much and then it was like "wow i just love everyone so much we are so great" and all of a sudden we were all hugging and laughing and crying and it was just so surreal! like this is the last time we're going to do this for three months. three whole months that's a long time! and i know there's prizegiving tomorrow, and christmas and delia and nina's birthdays and an end-of-exams party to have so it's not like we're not going to see each other all summer but there was just something about the fact that this was the last day and the last time that we were gonna do any of this for a while that put everyone in a sappy mood?
it's weird because i'm so focused on life after high school and like, getting out of here asap that sometimes i tend to take for granted how lucky i am? like i have this amazing group of friends and we are so fantastic and supportive of each other and have all these great adventures, and sometimes i tend to forget that we're not gonna be together like this after high school, and i sort of realise that hey, maybe university can wait a little because i need to focus on what's right here and right now and idk i'm in a sappy mood right now and i should probably go study haha sorry for wasting your time with this