first off i just want to apologise if that last journal seemed overly attention-seeking and "validate my art to me"! it wasn't my intention when i originally posted it, i just needed somewhere to vent about how much art class is sucking for me at the moment, and dA was the only place available to me at the time. i honestly didn't expect y'all to respond as you did and i'm super touched!
since i posted that journal though there has been an update in the drama going on. long story short, my art teacher decided -- despite having seen my portfolio daily this week -- to wait until the day before it was due to tell me that i was missing four paintings, and without them i would fail.
she did her usual passive-aggressive spiel and tried to talk me into using some of the work from the beginning of the year, ensuring me that it would "be ok" (which it wouldn't be, because that,s sjust how she plays things), and straight up telling me that i couldn't complete the four paintings by 9am the next morning.
so of course i set out on a journey of epic proportions to prove her wrong. four paintings, 10 consequtive hours of painting, and one all-nighter later, i accomplished exactly what my art teacher told me i could not accomplish.
i produced four finished paintings from scratch with more than four hours to spare before the deadline. and they look damn good.
my teacher aint got shit on me no more.
ngl i probably wouldn't have been able to do it if it weren't for Wavechanger keeping me company, for which i'm super grateful else i probably would have driven a paintbrush through my skull sometime in the early hours of the morning. so heres to you man, youre awesome.
also because i'm going on 30 hours without sleep and im going through some serious reality doubts and without an eyewitness of sorts to confirm that this actually happened i'd probably just be writing it all off as a dream.
(i'm not even kidding it took me five minutes this morning to realise that hands are a thing and i have two of them. help me.) i am literally running off of adrenaline and caffeine right now and im fast running out of the latter.
there was definitely more that i wanted to add here but im not remembering it. it s becoming a conscious effort just to remain balanced anymore so
thats that i guess??.