surprise, i'm not dead
this account is though. i've hardly touched it in the last year and part of that is due to drowning in schoolwork (guess who sacrificed their mental health for the equivalent of straight a's ahaha haaaa) but it's mostly because... there's nothing here for me anymore. almost everyone i know who uses this site has moved on and i think it's about time i do too.
i was reading through my old journals on my first account (
) not too long ago and got hit with this huge wave of melancholic nostalgia. like. this site has seen me from my final year at frigging primary school to the end of my penultimate year of high school. a huge portion of my life is documented on the website. i have vivid memories of where i was and what i was feeling when i posted those journals, or my art, or how i reacted to the journals and art of those i watched. this website, and the people on it, have helped shape my interests and shaped myself as a person. it's safe to say that if it weren't for deviantart, i would not be the person i am today. however it's kind of surreal to think that in some ways this site has watched me grow up.
i haven't stopped drawing. my tablet has kind of been left to gather dust because we just seem to have bad luck with computers, but i still doodle on a sporadic basis. i've had to reevaluate some priorities over the last year, so art has kind of been put on the backburner, but i don't think i'm ever going to give it up completely. and, i'm happy to say that i've finally reached the point in my art where i am satisfied.
i still have a long way to go, and a lot that i need to work at, but overall i am at the point where i can draw something and not hate the results.
what else? as i stated earlier, i'm in the process of wrapping up my second-last year of high school. i'm on a term break at the moment, and then i have three and a half weeks before i go on study leave for my exams. i've worked my ass off this year in the hopes of scoring a scholarship when the time comes to go to university, and i must say i am so dang proud of what i've achieved thus far. i've done enough that i can afford to mess about a little next year before the serious business really
starts. it's going to be hard work, but it's all upwards from here. c:
also on the topic of school, i've come to realise some previously-undiscovered passions of mine and have ultimately decided to pursue a career in genetics! i took biology on a whim at the start of the year, but as we studied it in depth i came to develop a love for the subject. to me genetics is solving a puzzle of all the pieces that make us us,
and words cannot express how excited i am to study it in a few years!
on a darker note, i have been dealing with... i'm reluctant to call it depression, because i understand self-diagnosis is a tricky topic, but whatever's been up with my brain it hasn't been right.
no matter what way you look at it this year has been really tough for me. things have gotten better in the last month or so, and i think the arrival of spring has helped with that a whole lot! but i have been taking small steps to help manage it -- such as exercising, and indulging in time for myself -- and that has helped a whole bunch too.
i can't think of a way to transition into this that isn't awkward as hell, so i'm just going to come out and say it: i am leaving this site for good. i do not want to lose contact with any of you, so i'm going to plaster my contact details all over this page! i won't be deleting my account, because i am a nostalgic fuck and this site has chronicled some of the most -- and least!! -- important moments of my life. i don't want to lose those.
i may create an account over on wysp.ws at some point, because i primarily draw to showcase my art (no shame), but that's mostly dependent on if/when we get a functioning computer haha.
so, for those of you who may still be here, here's where to find me from now on:
facebook: Caitlin Gibb
yeah, i'm gonna put my facebook up here. i realise it's one of the most convenient methods of contact these days, and my profile is private enough. if you do decide to hit me up on there, just flick me a message letting me know who you are first. c:
so, that's it. there's so much more that i want to talk about here, like my juniors course and my school band winning silver at our last competition and so many other things, but there wasn't really a place to put them in and besides, this journal is long enough as it is.
if anyone is still reading this... it's been a blast knowing you all for all these years. whether we spoke once or whether we spoke on a daily basis, every single one of you has helped to shape my life in such a unique way, and there are not enough words to express my gratitude for that. please do hit me up on some other form of social media, or flick me an email, or something, because i would love to keep in contact. but whether you do or whether you don't, i wish you the best of luck for all your future endeavours and hope that you are happy and successful no matter what you choose to pursue.
signing off for the last time,